


Jordy & Tanger's Excellent Adventure

by djayb



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djayb/pseuds/djayb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started writing this for a school assignment and am just going to with it for now. Basically, it's Jordan and Kris go on a roadtrip of hilarity with stops of drama, craziness and intrusive family members and friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jordy & Tanger's Excellent Adventure

‘Died on me finally,’ Kristopher thinks as he ruefully surveys the no longer sputtering engine of his car. He half-exhales half-groans loudly, so loudly that he can see Jordan out of the corner of his eye perking up to see if the engine had come back to life.

“It’s dead!” he yells out into heat that blisters his words right back into his face. “It’s dead and we’re stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

Jordan slumps back against the car with a loud thump and Kris is 99% sure that the car may have moved back an inch or three. But that’s what happens when a 6”4, 220 pounds of muscle on a pissed off man, who really just seems to be an overgrown child at the moment, does something like that. It happens. Kris isn’t complaining. Not out loud anyway.

Kris leans over to check the engine again because perhaps it could have resuscitated itself after hearing his desperate and unhappy tone. Alas, no such luck. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed taken the car on this road-trip, it was too old and beat-up, but he has this belief of holding onto things until it’s too late. Like stuck in the middle of the desert too late.

He looks over at Jordan again, who is sprawled out on the ground with his legs in front of him. Shaking his head, he says softly in a Quebecois-tinged accent, “What do you think?”

Jordan shrugs and stares blankly ahead. Well, not blankly. His ice blue eyes are determinedly not looking anywhere but straight ahead of him, focusing on the very vast horizon.

“Oh come now. Don’t be like that,” Kris cajoles him as he walks over and crouches in front of Jordan, forcing him to finally look at him after four hours and more miles than Kris cares to count. “I’m sorry, okay? Spiderman and Batman are nothing alike and I apologize for suggesting it. Because they’re both not orphans and don’t have special things to help them swing from building to building.”

Jordan glares at him. “The car dying is retribution for you saying it. It’s almost as if you had said that Aquaman has any sort of relevance in the grand scheme of things.”

“Wasn’t he part of The Justice League? I feel like that gives him relevance,” Kris says reasonably.

“Compared to everyone else in the League? Please. Besides, I was just using him as an example to prove a point. Batman and Spiderman may have similarities but they are nothing alike. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider! Bruce Wayne wanted revenge-” Jordan stops himself. “You know what? I’m not getting into this now. We’re stuck in the desert with no food or water-”

“We have both,” Kris interrupts.

“Limited food and water and a dead car. It’s hot and I don’t want to make myself angry because you’re being an idiot.”

Kris settles himself next to Jordan. “Okay.”

Jordan sticks out his lower lip. “Okay.”

“Don’t pout. What are you looking at?” Kris asks as he looks ahead at what he’s presuming Jordan is staring at. There’s a lot of land, dusty and the color of dust, almost brown but not quite. He’s pretty sure they passed grass and trees before the car decided to expire but he doesn’t see any trace of them now. The sky is a brilliant blue and there are no clouds to shield them from the harsh midday sun that is beating down on them like hot dry rain. They’re on the side of a road so he doesn’t think they’ve passed civilization and gone into nothingness. The air is stale, like it hasn’t moved in awhile or possibly ever if they are in fact stuck in a desert.

Jordan sighs glumly. “Nothing. There’s a whole lot of nothing.”

“You think we’ll die?”

Jordan turns, smacks him and mutters, “Jesus Christ.”

“What?” Kris replies. “It’s a perfectly reasonable question.”

“I think you might. I grew up on a farm, I’ve got skills.”

“It was a sod farm.”

“A farm’s a farm, asshole.”

“Okay, well if a tractor magically shows up...” Kris snaps and Jordan glares at him again.

Kris sighs in semi-frustration. They’re not really angry at each other, well Jordan might be slightly pissed at him, but the situation is obviously getting to them. “Do we even know where we are?”

“Not in Pennsylvania, I can tell you that.” Kris looks at Jordan questioningly. “There’s no desert in Pennsylvania.”

“Well considering we left there yesterday, I’d be surprised if we were anywhere near Pittsburgh. I don’t think we’re in the desert though.”

“It’s hot enough to be,” mumbles Jordan. “You said there was water?”

“Yeah,” Kris says as he gets up, pops open the truck and retrieves two granola bars and a bottle of water. he then leans into the front seat of the car to get a map. “There’s a few more bottles in the trunk but we’ll share for now. We should probably ration it.” He makes himself comfortable as best he can at Jordan’s side again.

“Shouldn’t we call for help?” asks Jordan.

“Yes but I’m not sure where we are but I know I made notes on the map of what we did. You know, exits and turns and stuff.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Why do you sound surprised?”

“It’s just very efficient of you and therefore very unlike you.”

“Fuck you,” Kris tells him with no real venom in his voice.

Jordan grins at him beatifically.“I love you too.”

“I fucking hope so. Because I’m going to get us out of this mess and you will owe me your eternal gratitude,” Kris huffs as he spreads the map out in front of him. He stares for a few minutes at the scratches he made and tries to make sense of the tiny roads. “I can’t figure this out.”

“Maybe you should go into the map,” Jordan suggests and Kris throws him a dirty look. “It worked for Joey. Do you - do you want me to do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable?”

“Can you just be helpful, please? And I thought I put a ban on ‘Friends’ after Sid made us sit through that New Year’s marathon.”

Jordan shrugs. “What can I say? Things stick with me. Here,” he reaches over and pulls the map in front of him, “you sun yourself and I’ll figure this out.”

“I’m plenty tan, thank you,” Kris retorts but lets Jordan take over anyway. He takes out his phone and sees the battery drop to two bars. “Any luck?”

“Dude. I just started looking at the map. Did you have any semblance of idea of what you were doing when made these?” Jordan points to small vertical lines drawn through roads.

“Yes. That is how I indicated to myself where we going.”

“Remind me why we don’t have a GPS.”

“Because I don’t trust technology,” Kris recites by heart with a resounding air of defeat that is slightly unbefitting of his accent.

“But we trust this?” Jordan waves the map.

“Hey! I have never gotten lost in my life. Or at least I’ve been able to figure out how to get back on track. Come on farmboy, use your skills.”

Jordan sighs and Kris thinks that is becoming his default sound. “All right. I think we are either in Missouri or Kansas.”

“Kansas?” repeats Kris. “Like Wizard of Oz Kansas?”

“You know that Oz wasn’t in Kansas, right?”

“You know what I mean!” Kris snaps as he looks down at the map to the area Jordan is pointing but all he sees is colors and shapes, no logic to it at all as if it were something a child drew not a cartographer. He blinks and looks at the paper again but it’s still the same as before. “So what do we do? What are you doing?”

“Remembering that I don’t hate technology,” Jordan answers as he presses some buttons on his phone. “We are in Kansas somewhere-”

“So not the desert,” Kris interrupts.

“Not the desert even though it looks like it could be. Instead we get tumbleweeds and tornadoes apparently. Anyway, I’m going to call Triple A. You try not to pass out and reconsider technology’s value in our lives, please.” Jordan gets up and stretches. He’s only a few inches taller than Kris and a year younger than him but as Kris looks up at him, he feels like the differences between them are vaster and varied than they really are.

Kris leans against the car, eyes closed and taking in the warmth of the sun as he hears Jordan calling for roadside assistance. A shadow passes over him and he squints up. “You’re kind of a giant, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it before.” Jordan grins at him and reaches out a hand for Kris to grasp and pull himself up. “But now I’m more like your hero. I guess you owe me your eternal gratitude now.”

“Not likely,” Kris tells him, “I helped. My map, remember?” He bumps Jordan’s shoulder with his own. “How long til they get here?”

“A couple of hours. We’re pretty much stationary until then. So I guess we’re even?” Jordan asks, his blue eyes twinkling and Kris can’t help but smile at him.

“Not by a long shot,” he answers. “But we’ll get there. I’m sure you can make it up to me.”

Jordan smirks. “Sure. And now that we have time and we’re not going anywhere, let me explain to you why Batman and Spider-man are not similar at all. First off - origins.”

Kris stares at him, a little aghast as to the fact that Jordan has chosen to reopen this discussion. He can feel his brain already start to melt from a combination of the heat and the conversation about to be had. He groans internally but as he watches Jordan talk animatedly, not listening even just a little because there’s only so much his mind can handle, he smiles again and thinks that it could be worse. At least they’re being rescued soon.


End file.
